G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra Movie Review

This is gonna be long.

4 out of 5

It did it's job. Walking out, some 8/9 year old kid turns to his father and goes "THAT WAS AWESOME!!"

Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome a new addition (hopefully one of many) to the ranks of the G.I. Joe fandom.

From the previews and trailers I figured I'd enjoy the movie, I knew it would make a good action flick. What was up in the air was if it would make a good G.I. Joe movie.

And yes, yes it does.

I'm an old Joe fan from '82. Figures, comic books and the cartoon. I love the franchise and I welcome RoC to the mythos. Is it what I wanted and envisioned when I pictured Joe on the big screen? No, not even close. But the spirit and essence of G.I. Joe is there. Military action mixed with a little sci-fi and some character drama (yes, even if it's my least favorite part of the entire mythos, it's still there).

RoC had it all. Was some of it over the top? Yeah. Was some of the tech a little out there? Yeah. But then so are weather dominators and MASS Devices.

I really liked the movie, alot. I'll probably go and see it again (last time I saw a movie twice in the theaters was Return of the King), and this time I'll bring my nephews.

Non-stop action. Great one-liners.

I read the novelization and noticed ALOT that was left on the cutting room floor. And the ending was changed, I liked the novelization ending better, and the extra "scenes" that were in the novel would have helped out alot, especially at the very beginning at NATO Command.

So the good stuff, let's get it out of the way:

I want, no I NEED, the Panther and Rhino from the beginning. Those were some really cool vehicles and I want 'em. I'm now being "forced" to pick up a Typhoon Gunship and Steel Crusher, after seeing 'em in the movie the "maybes" for the toys became definates.

For the most part the actors got the parts down. I didn't really like Breaker, he seemed kind of squirrely, but the rest were good. I didn't think Tatum was as wooden as others have said. Ripcord definately wasn't anywhere near as bad as people were afraid he would be. Hawk was Hawk. Storm Shadow was a BAD-ASS, I mean a really bad BAD-ASS. Loved the look. Sleek, modern, cultured. Lee pulled it off awesomely.

Miller as the Baroness? Great job. She said alot with just a look or a single line like the one that she said when Storm Shadow killed DeCobray. Looked stunning and made a great villianess. She looked like she was having fun (up until the end anyways).

JGL's Rex/Doctor/Commander. Didn't really have much to show off his acting chops, but made a good pyscho villian. Freaky, scary, insane. Just how you want a villian to be.

Destro, I liked alot. I don't know why everyone is on this thing that he needs to be a big physical presence, he never struck me as that. Always struck me as more cultured then physical. And Eccelistein (sp?) is a dead ringer for how Destro looked in the Marvel comic when he took the helmet off.

The one I didn't like? Snake-Eyes. The costume just looked weird. The mouth wasn't what bothered me, it was the hard rubber top. It didn't show expression at all. Made the performance kind of bland and odd. Didn't help that he changed outfits more then a girl.

He must have made Scarlett jealous. And boy, was Scarlett hot. I would love a Paris Pursuit Scarlett complete with motorcycle.

Rachel Nichols did a good job as Scarlett.

And I liked Marlon Wayans Ripcord. Great character. He's what I figured he would be: the funny, sarcastic, wisecracking buddy that we all have that when the chips are down he's got your back and becomes serious.

The CGI wasn't the best, but it didn't end up detracting from the movie. The plot was solid, no major glaring holes (which even Oscar winners have). Great action sequances from beginning to end.

The Elite-Vipers and EELs looked great. I liked the Neo-Vipers better then I thought I would when seen on screen.

Zartan. Yep, can't wait for the sequal now.

What I didn't like?

The Duke/Rex/Baroness thing was kind of blah. Didn't really like it, but then I didn't like that part of the comics either. So no big surprise that I could have done without that aspect of it.

I didn't like the words "G.I. Joe" appearing on the camo they wore in the PIT.

Would have liked to have seen more of the PIT, the place must be HUGE.

Some of the dialogue was bad. I mean really bad. At the cheese level and dipping it's foot into the pool.

I didn't like Breaker. He just felt squirrelly and weaselly. Don't know why, but just didn't like him.

I didn't like the opening scene. I know why it was there, and accept and understand that, but I didn't like how it was pulled off. During that scene I started getting afraid that the movie was going to be bad, that scene just didn't sit well. I don't know if was the dialogue, the sets, the acting or what, but just something about it wasn't right.

Thank god the movie righted itself and got on track real quick.

Now the Accelerator Suits and the Paris Scene. I've always said I wasn't a fan of 'em and I'm still not, but damn that scene was fun to watch. The suits running and jumping everywhere, Scarlett weaving in and out of traffic on the bike.

What a fun scene that was to watch. Now just don't ever use the suits again and we'll be good to go.

All in all, it's a little better then I thought it would be. It's the type of movie I thought it would be, not earth shattering or oscar winning but just damn fun to watch.

I walked out and enjoyed the time. And I'll go back and see it again.